I have heard so many times, "It is about the journey and not about the destination". I am still to meet a person who has really understood it. With that I mean understanding by experience and not just explaining what is written in scriptures or books. On the contrary, often I meet people talking about their targets, destination or goals. It may be debatable how many of those are changing targets. It is the target that helps them to step on the journey. They surely support the idea, that purpose of life make us live the life". Confusion and question arises when one does not even know which path he want to follow. I meet people who says, I want to be a doctor, magistrate, police officer, manager, businessman, salesman etc. I always wonder how do they know what they want to be. Throughout my life, starting from schooldays, I never knew what I want to become. Relatives will come and often ask this question, "What do you want to be when you grow-up?" I always gave a blank response and simply stared back. When I could not look anymore in their eyes expecting and answer, I start looking at my feet. At times I just ran away making excuse to play or eat. After all those years, I still my find in the same situation.
In a recent conversation with a colleague, who asked the "dark question" again; "What is your plan for coming years?". My response, after all those years, is still the same. I was just blank for some time. It might have been a moment and two. But, it felt like I just travelled through my whole life making stops at the moments when I went blank at the same question. After a moment that felt like years I responded, "I do not know". I felt bad about myself. It is a kind of feeling that you feel when as kid you were making mistakes in doing simple sum of 2 numbers, while you parents are expecting you to do multiplications. It is that feeling of letting down, not being up-to-the mark.
Well, I still do not what is my destination. But, this conversation did make me think of all the things I am interested to do. Not that I want to reach somewhere by doing those things. It is just that I feel good doing those. Writing is one of those things that make me feel good. However, being lazy is also one the things that I enjoy. When laziness meets with disliking of schedules/patterns and preferences for some randomness and diverse interest, one finds that some interests are left behind. However, this discussion did push me again for writing and here I am, writing new entry in my blog after almost 3 years.
Big thanks to my colleague; I do not remember who it was, to bring me back to writing after various journeys in last years. For sure it will not be a scheduled or organized writing. But, I hope to write more often than one in 3 years and I may come back to this topic again .. someday.
Till the next one, keep smiling.
Love
Arundeep